So I was a real fan girl for a day. All of the theories about gazing and identification and objectification can be thrown away for this day. Being a fan means you have to be a little bit out of the mind to do things you wouldn't do normally. I did do things I wouldn't do normally, such as chatting up with strangers, giving people compliments, etc.
But I WILL read that Richard dyer paper again, to intensify my motivation.
And I am sure this kind of fanatic behavior is somewhat pathological, yet I have no regrets.
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